Thursday, April 10, 2008

not your stereotypical housewife

One of the many tv shows I watch is The Real Housewives of New York City. It follows five “housewives” living in the Big Apple and is full of drama, decadence, and ridiculousness—which of course gives me the ample chance to add my worthless two cents.

The housewives are Jill, LuAnn, Ramona, Alex, and Bethenny. Just like the Real Housewives of Orange County, the NYC women spend a lot, go out a lot, and gossip a lot. But the NYC housewives are WAY more catty and dramatic. They all talk behind each other’s backs and are solely focused on being at the top of NY society.

Ramona, Jill, LuAnn, Bethenny, Alex

I don’t get why Bethenny is on the show since she’s not married and she doesn’t have any kids, but she seems to be the common link between all the women—she’s fairly close to all of them. LuAnn requires that she be called “the Countess” because her husband is a minor Count of some European country. Ramona is an opinionated partier who wishes she was still in her twenties (and dresses like it too). Jill (she’s my favorite) is like the high and wise socialite-Barbara Streisand-Jewish Yenta figure. And then there’s Alex.

Alex is the cultured, up-and-coming socialite who lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two sons. She and her husband Simon vanKempen are inseparable—I mean like they do everything together. (on this week's episode she brought Simon to a 'girls night' dinner party). They’re big on culture, traveling, and being accomplished, and on the show they try (way too hard) to break into the upper echelons of Manhattan society.

What kills me about Alex is that she named her kids Francois and Johan (to be said with a French accent)….seriously?!? Francois?? The poor kid is going to be traumatized for the rest of his life. He’ll restlessly lie awake at night haunted by the demeaning taunts of bullies on the playground: “Francois!! Francois!?!?!” Is there even a nickname that can come out of that? Frances?

Then there is Alex’s hair…you can’t see it too well in these pictures, but on the show her hair is usually one big long, stringy, frizzy mess. Hot tranny mess. I don’t understand how if you can afford a $3 million town home you can’t afford a trip to the salon every once in a while. You’d think since Alex and Simon are so focused on being part of high society and networking and impressing people and being accomplished yadda yadda yadda, she’d be a little more attentive to her appearance. It’s called a flat iron woman! When she actually takes the time to get her hair done it looks good.

So for fun, I give you...Alex and Simon vanKempen (with creative commentary added):

And a screen cap from this past week's episode featuring Ramona and Bethenny:

I wasted wayyyyy too much time at work putting this post together.

all images from

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